St. James the Least of All Happily,
the Church of England still retains some singular parish
clergy. Take the parish of St James-the-Least in
the Letter
from St James the Least of All – The
Rectory My
dear Nephew Darren It is
quite natural for you curates to enjoy working with young
people in your parishes; church youth clubs were created
in order to keep the newly ordained off the streets in
the evenings. But be assured you will grow out of it. I
consent to baptise babies and prepare teenagers for
confirmation, but beyond that my contact with this alien
life form is kept to an absolute minimum. Dear
Miss Thrush runs our weekly Pram Service - although at
her age I am rather surprised she doesn’t call it a
Bassinette Service. Its sole purpose seems to be to give
young mothers an opportunity to discuss the ever changing
liaisons within the village, while their offspring shred
hymn books and destroy the flower arrangements. I drop in
from time to time in order to check that the more mobile
haven’t found where we hide the matches. An infant
equipped with that knowledge can so easily develop into a
teenage pyromaniac. I can
give you little advice on your youth group. When I was a
curate, the major activity seemed to be to teach them how
to wear gas masks, although today I imagine there is more
concern about protecting them from other sorts of exotic
chemicals. Also, I suspect you are kept busy
keeping the young out of the darker corners of the
churchyard as they develop their anatomical knowledge
– a past-time still enthusiastically pursued by each
new generation. You
clearly find your monthly Youth Service a deeply
enriching experience. As far as I am concerned, if such a
liturgy had been necessary, then Cranmer would have
provided us with one. Endlessly repeated choruses
accompanied by a guitar would make me warm to the Quakers.
I am sure On
this matter we must differ. You must worship God in your
way, and I in his. Your
loving uncle, Eustace |